Updating the Farmhouse

Bedroom #1

We spent all day this Sunday painting my son’s bedroom, and I’m happy to say that it turned out FABULOUS! I’m so happy with the paint choices, which were a grayish beige, with accent walls in blue. It makes for a much more inviting boys room than the coral peach color that was in there before. I also painted the wood in the sleep nook to give it a more cohesive look. It makes this cute area even more inviting!

Below are some before and after pictures. We’ll be replacing the carpet soon, as well, which will finalize the update in this room.

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The Changing Landscape

I just want to take a moment to note the inner conflict within my head every day. I am firing on all new cylinders here and I feel really pulled back into using the old ones. People that I want to depend on are letting me down, while at the same time confirming all of the old values of the past. It’s virtually impossible to break free from the pull of tradition and modern culture. Which I am learning, I cannot deny, is super easy in the grand scheme of time. I need to learn to balance it all. This job I have is not like hard labor on a rice field. My discomfort is emotional.

I am chained by my guilt and obligation. My moral values and my business ethics. I value the opinions that others hold of me, and I strive to meet the approval of those I feel that I owe some amount of credit for my success.

I have recently been reminded by the modern publication ‘Enlightenment Now’ that life is not as bad as we imagine it to be in our head. It was not more than 2 centuries ago when half of the world’s population was in real danger of starving to death on any given day. Today, obesity is a major problem in our society. Poor people getting fat is a real issue.

However, we must continue to strive for more because it is that striving for more that has gotten us where we are today. We we’re not mearly satisfied by having bread on our tables. We wanted safe work conditions, we want equal work conditions, we continue to push for a better quality of life. Our society has given an un-precidented number of people in the world all of the material things they could have ever hoped for…and what we’ve found, is that we are still not driven by these things. There is still more inside of us that we seek for fulfillment in our lives, and after all, isn’t that what we’re here for? To live a fulfilling life, whether filled with love or hate or geed or pain or peace or education or beauty or salvation. We want our life to fulfill our expectations rather than live a life with regret.

This is where Repurpose ME Life wants to push the boundaries of how we plan our life, how we execute our plan and what we definitely as success! I can easily have a very comfortable life staying where I’m at, but I have a chance to have something even better if I take a few chances and push a little harder to know what I like and surround myself with it.

RePurpose ME Farm…

Welcome to a new corner of or blog. RePurpose ME Farm. More plainly put, we bought a farm! Not THE farm, that would be bad, but a 100 year old farmhouse and 14 acres with three barns on the property. It even has a name, “Windmill Acres.”

This beautiful piece of property and architecture has been lived in and cared for by exactly two other families since it was built, and they have done an exquisite job making this place a cozy, comfortable and cared for home.

Mike and I hope to take it from here and continue the tradition on this homestead and cultivate an environment that embraces our passions and encourages our dreams.

We will modernize the farmhouse with timeless treasures. We will refinish the barns and make them spaces where we can hang out, do hobbies and host events.

I’ll update our progress and steps along the way so we can share the exciting transformation.

Who am I?

I begin this section of writings in an attempt to discover who I am, who I always have been and who I want to be. At 43, you’d think I’d have already done this; but alas, I’ve never really owned up to who I am. I’ve never taken a hard inventory of the many spare parts that make up my personality, my strengths, my weaknesses, my shortcomings and my passions. I hope, over time, that I will develop a new understanding of myself and what others see in me and what traits I will choose to embrace or kick to the curb. Then I can take an honest step forward to try to pursue the characteristics I admire in others and aspire to exemplify.

So , let’s start with some stream of consciousness…

I think I’m a pretty hard worker, but with a lazy streak. I get tired of working too hard for too long and feel entitled to a break.

I think I’m a pretty ok mom. Certainly not the warmest, welcoming, home cooking, comforting, best friend, live only for my kids type. But I make plenty of sacrifices for them, enjoy spending time with my family, tech my kids to be confident, strong, honest caring and open-minded.

I get annoyed with people easily. Which is odd because I am so intimidated by what other people think. I guess it’s a form if judgement in both directions. I expect that others are judging me so I must defend myself by judging them first.

I get bored easily. I have difficulty completing simple tasks to completion. I never was dishes until the sink is empty. I…as a matter of fact…I have difficulty completing any task until completion, whether it is simple or not. That’s kind of shitty…hmmm.

I think I’m pretty smart. There’s all different kinds of smarts and I’m no engineer, mathematician or inventor kind of smart, but I can hold my own listening to a good TED Talk or reading about the history of our universe. I think my smart is more philosophical than technical. Which is ok, but doesn’t always manifest the easiest opportunities for application.

And for my last thought today…I think I’m pretty bad at having and keeping friends. I’m a bad friend and I don’t know what to do to be a good friend. The truth is that I have wild social anxiety that I can hide with strangers and acquatences, but immobilizes me when friendships begin to grow. I think I’ve failed a lot as a friend and that’s left me with a very low confidence of success.

That said, to all my friends out there…I’m so sorry. I will try to do better.

I can only start by trying to recognize things in my life I want to improve. For today, this is enough. For tomorrow, I will continue exploring.